Being a spoon (stirring things up)

Mmm boy did I raise some hackles last night on FaceBook. I just snapped.

Normally, I mostly live and let live. If you’re effed up so be it. If I disagree with you about something non-religious or non-political I’ll let you know, but it’s usually about something trivial and I can joke my way out of most serious conflicts.

But believe it or not there are a lot of things I keep quiet about.

No really.

Especially with my family, which IN GENERAL, is a rather zealous conservative catholic lot. Plus they’re smart and they argue back and can cite footnotes and stuff.

Well, one of my cousins put up as her “profile picture” a “pro-life” image. I can’t explain it but it just set me OFF. Her view is totally expected, given her parentage and their seriously right-leaned catholicism, but all of a sudden I just thought “I cannot be silent any more.”

So I found an image of a hanger with the red bar “no” symbol through it and said, “You can’t stop women from having them so keep them legal and safe.”

And there it was: The Stand. Ooh the comments flew from the west coast contingent. Then my friends chimed in. It was the classic debate, only I didn’t want to debate. I just tried to say, “Look: this is how it IS. It’s not how you want it to be. You can’t stop it, so at least keep it safe.”

But people just kept wanting to take it to another level – the esoteric, theoretical, intellectual, scientific level.

Just couldn’t get people away from that, and back to the reality of real life, but it went the (in hindsight) predictable way. It was ugly.

To me* it came down to “Look: you can’t have it both ways. You can’t expect people who are on the bottom tier of Maslowe’s Hierarchy of Needs to give a crap about their ovulation schedule and use natural family planning, or tell people to not have sex or not use birth control, then not give them any leeway or support if /when they become unexpectedly pregnant. What do you do for the women after you go “save babies”? Do you give them emotional, financial, life-skills techniques?” No, probably not. Nobody said they did anyway.

They just vote on a single issue, expect people to live the way they deem right, and say “eff you” to the ‘post-saving’ practical support. It really pisses me off!

I’d just had it and felt like I had to speak out.

I feel my true “self” is muted enough from my family (I’m the raging liberal, pro-choice, agnostic, F word spouting feminist, although I’m really working on the F word part — not my most attractive quality), because a high premium has been placed on “being nice” and “not stirring things up.”

But I spoke out. No other family members really chimed in except in private mail. But I had good support from my friends.

Granted, it’s a heated topic that not everyone wants to discuss — usually I stay away from these debates myself, so I understand. We tend to avoid politics and religion anyway, right? and some would say this is BOTH.

But it’s kind of sad I got pushed to fury before I had the courage to say something. Still, I’m glad I did it. I felt (excuse the cliché) freed. In their minds I’m probably damned to hell (apparently they live on a different earth than I do), and I’m sure they pity and will pray for me. Well, cool on the prayer. I’ll take all the good wishes I can get.

Still, it’s disheartening that people are so stuck in their dogma that they can’t see past it to another way of looking at an issue. I was basically agreeing with them in the sense that there should be no abortion. But that’s where any possible commonality ended.

I gave a real example of how a guy who does work for me is so ignorant (in the truest sense of the word) that he didn’t know that once digital tv came in he didn’t have to lose all his tv channels. Not to mention that you could get a converter, etc. He had no idea, despite all the commercials and hype about it.

He lives in another world of surviving through the day, not thinking about or possibly knowing about, “natural family planning” or all that crap. It’s a world this contingent of the family doesn’t understand.

So disheartening…

*and this is my blog, so things will always come down to my opinion

Edit: forgot to acknowledge Karen for giving me the word/definition of ’spoon’ in this context.

 

Something else I’ll never understand

When you’ve been single as long as I have, and especially at “this” age, you see men and their signals differently than when you were younger.

First, you SEE the signals in the first place. Younger me: “What?! You like me? I thought we were just friends.” Duh – he hand-delivered flowers, makes you custom mix cassettes and gives you his artwork. I was so dense then.

But now I see differently.

Here are the typical signals when I look at a man or (god forbid) engage one in a non-meaningful, “I’m killin’ time in line” conversation.

It sometimes seems to be interpreted as an “I want you now baby” or “I want to have your baby” look/conversation even though I’m just killing time.

How can I tell?

a. Well, they don’t look at me: “I’m married and not supposed to look at you even though I just want to look.”

b. They talk to you briefly but make it clear in approx. 2 sentences that they are married (apparently never considering the fact that maybe I am not INTERESTED in you; I am just making conversation in a line).

c. Most rare of all: You are interested in them and/or they look at you and/or show interest.

Just to show you how out of practice I am with c. Twice in the past few months I’ve had men express interest and/or give me a longer look that one who’s married would ever do (because they’re so busy averting their glances).

With the presumably-interested ones, I almost ran from the first one and could not meet the other’s eyes.

I run away! Where is my smart ass self when I really need it?!

 

Today’s cheap thrills

-Ted Drewes open a bonus day – discovered while driving home from Target, source of my second cheap thrill…

-These cool handle thingies instead of a bag:

-Clean house (okay well except for the dining room table) for the first time in months

-Didn’t have to yell at Fanny a lot today

-Uploaded my 1st video (to Facebook in this case but coming here soon)

-Making some chicken and potatoes with my own homemade pesto

That’s enough. There were a couple more but you probably don’t care that I finally washed my area rugs (again, for the 1st time in months).

I’m so thrilled I hope I can sleep tonight.

 

New Year’s resolution

I finally made a New Year’s resolution.

I think I can keep it, but check with me in another few months. The success rate for New Year’s resolutions is apparently quite low. Here it is:

I will throw Q-tips into the trash can right away instead of just setting them on the sink.

 

No more super glue!!

Every year for Xmas our (sibs and parents’) stockings contain a useful product that varies from year to year.

It’s become a joke of sorts (maybe you have to be there). Some past useful product stocking stuffers have been:

-paper clips

-masking tape

-scotch tape (This one lasted for at least 5 years.)

-super glue

-pens

For the past few years it’s been super glue. This year I got THREE tubes of it (to add to the 2 still left from last year).

Did you know super glue has a limited lifespan? I’d forgotten until I tried both of my super glues and re-remembered (from previous occasions) that they dry up pretty easily.

Both tubes I already had were solidly glued to themselves, even though one had never even been opened.

So tonight, as part of cleanup efforts, I tried to do some misc. tasks, including re-glueing my favorite spatula (wood and silicone).

I was going to give my extra tubes of glue to the Habitat for Humanity Re-Store this year, but luckily (or so I thought), the Re-Store was closed the week I was going to drop off a bunch of stuff, so I still had the 3 tubes I got this year.

Go down to the basement and get them all (I don’t know why I got all of them either) and selected the tube that didn’t require me to go find a pin to open it. I chose the one with the pin built into the lid.

Except it turned out I didn’t need it. When I opened the tube a whole bunch of super glue oozed out on various parts of fingers (and the stereotypical between the fingers) and onto the table.

Oops. Someone inadvertently gave me an open one. Easy to happen considering whoever gave them to us this year must have had at least 15 tubes they gave away (assuming everyone else also got 3).

Well having my priorities in line, I quickly separated the fingers and glued the damn spatula.

I then assessed the damage: 4 finger tips, between 2 fingers, 1 knuckle, on the table, and the bonus napkin pieces stuck to 2x 3 of the 4 finger tips (I had grabbed the napkin in order to prevent the finger tips from getting goop on them – HA!).

After finding the minutely-written “Caution” box and reading the ‘how to remove’ instructions from underneath my brand new glasses that are but one of 4 pairs with the the OLD prescription in the lenses because they used the wrong script to fill and refill my lenses, I learned that I had to SOAK my “affected areas” (except around the eyes) in nail polish remover.

It’s just a particularly noxious chemical that I try to avoid using unless needed, but hey — desperate measures and all that.

I soaked everything (except the table) but guess what? I got only part of 1 of the napkins to come off, and only by gently peeling while praying to god I wouldn’t remove 4 layers of skin.

The polish remover didn’t work. The tube says water will remove it gradually over the next several days.

Know why the nail polish remover didn’t work? Because ‘keep it less toxic if possible’ Marie/y got the polish remover without acetone.

Sigh…

So I have this super glue on 4 finger tips (including in the cracks of the skin – not dry cracks, just cracks I’d never noticed before I got super glue in them), on a knuckle, and still between the fingers (not stuck together but on 2 fingers). Screw the table.

I also now have really dry hands and finger tips I probably don’t have to worry about being frost-bitten for the next ??? # of days.

But by golly my favorite spatula is re-glued.

x

 

follow up to Facebk entry about TD’s

Here’s my FB entry: I don’t know if I should be proud or ashamed of this, but Ted D’s was closing because of IMPENDING bad weather (what is UP with closing because it MIGHT snow?!). I put my face on the window and tapped and they opened back up for me!!

Here’s what I didn’t tell them that only you get to see because you care enough to read this.

I drove up, saw the exterior lights all off, screeched the car to a halt and put my emergency lights on. Oh yes I did.

I then ran up to the window, where some hapless soul was just standing, waiting for them to “notice” him (HA! Dude, it’s the city).

I was thinking to myself “Oh no they are NOT going to close early just 3 days before they close for the season, especially when they’ll for sure be closed tomorrow because we’ll have 2″ of snow on the ground and tomorrow is my only REAL excuse for going there (7 years no cigarettes).”

So I excused my butting ahead of hapless man, tapped on the window, and put my face on the window. Judy saw me, said to open up, and I graciously let the guy in front of me go first.

Then a couple came up: “No!! Are they closing?” I’m surprised I’ve never seen them before since they said they get depressed during the “closed” season (which lasts all of 3 weeks), implying they go there a lot. Anyway, being nice, Judy said she’d serve them too.

Not being totally selfish, I asked everyone to kneel down so people on the street wouldn’t see us and drive up (they have the wind break thing up so you can’t see the bottom 1/2 of someone).

Believe it or not a couple of them did kneel down. I mean come on, it’s the least we could do, right?

The hapless soul didn’t kneel down, but when he asked how come they opened up for me and I told him why (will let you fill in the blanks on that answer), he did pay me a compliment by saying “No way do you come here that often.”

God bless him. He’s hapless but not stupid I guess…

So hopefully the kind souls at TD’s are outta there by now, waiting for the weather event that might occur.

 

Crime beat

I just love how Hill Rock describes its crimes in the weekly crime report area of the local (really local) rag.

Recent submissions:

Officers on patrol Dec. 9 observed two local pharmaceutical peddlers hawking their wares in the frigid weather on the Hill Rock  side of <removed> Avenue. This being a big no-no, the dedicated officer left his vehicle and gave chase to the scoundrels. The bad guys had a head start, however, and left the officer in their dust as they disappeared in between houses to the east.

This being a big no-no?  gave chase to the scoundrels? left the officer in their dust? Granted I’m easily amused but that is just not what you’d normally expect from the police blotter. So much personality!

Here’s another one:

…officers on patrol caught several capricious youths standing around in the middle of the 600 block of <same street as above!>. It seemed that the kids were up to no good, so the officers advised them to move on before they could pull any shenanigans.

Shenanigans?! I guess it must have been Officer Seamus O’Brien on duty that night.

 

Fighting and making up (another of the Poopy Diaper Chronicles)

So Fanny and Java “met” this summer. I’ve known Java’s people for a while but Java’s only about 10 mos. old. And big. She’s a Cattasomethingorother. Brown with little white spots and soft fur. Whatever.  Doesn’t matter.

She and Fanny run around at the (non-dog) park, play in our back yards, etc. (Note the locations have always been outside.)

So I took Fanny for a walk around the corner in a desperate attempt to burn off some energy off her crazy selfxto wish Janet & Greg a Merry Xmas, and we found out the hard way that Java is a bit – uh – territorial inside her home.

She attacked Fanny and didn’t just make her whimper or yell out, but really cry for a few seconds. She was shaking and everything…

Anyway, we got the eff outta there x left pretty soon after that and took a walk and all was well in FannyLand.

The next day I opened the door to find a bag with a treat for Fanny and the following note:

That note makes me smile every time I think of it, and judging by the wrinkles in it, you can probably tell I have been showing it to everyone.

 

Quick update – don’t get too excited

~2 mos. of working too many hours

Went to Mexico for  a few days over T-giving

Came back to same chaos at work

Came back to beautiful new ceiling in BR (no more flaking plaster!) and long overdue new color there PLUS my long-awaited cove molding in LR & DR

Got really sick – like ‘before I quit smoking’ sick -bronchitis and all

Decided this work thing isn’t working for me

Laptop may have fallen off couch. In the shop. Another $200. Next breakage=new ‘puter. All this money for a POS Dell just ain’t right.

TG my data and files and bookmarks are all backed up so I can access them still.

Miss my podcast downloads — pretty much the same stuff as last time

Sold my soul to the devil (again) and signed up for Facebook. Privacy concerns but it suits my smart-ass quick comebacks nicely and I like throwing random thoughts out there to see what people say. I think “a friend” deleted my question “Are you thinking about killing your children?” when she was the one who put this quote out there: “Herod the king, in his raging, charged he hath this day, his men of might, in his own sight, all young children to slay.” Now seriously, what else would you think but homicide? And why would she delete my comment questioning the obvious?! So I posted another question asking if she deleted my comment. She reminds me of another family member: “No I’m fine. Everything is fine.” “Mom, are you telling me it doesn’t hurt that a truck just ran over your leg?” “No really dear, I am fine.”

Going back to Mexico!! New place and with a friend. Can’t WAIT! Have already decided I’m NOT dropping pants for TSA so I may not actually end up in Ixtapa.

Might be adopting a dog that’s Fanny’s best friend at dog park. As much as I love this potentially-mine dog though, I’m hesitating, possibly because Fanny is pu-lenty active. Not sure what will end up happening…but they’re really cute when they play together. They totally ignore everything around them.

Survived (and I do mean ’survived’) Xmas. Family dramas and traumas abounded but all is well for now.

Way past my bed time and tonight is a school night. If there’s anyone who still checks here, I’m sorry for being such a slacker but appreciate you checking!!

 

Legal vandalism

(The 2nd line, assuming you could read the 1st, says “I see nothing”)

One cool thing about getting your walls painted is that you can write on them before they get repainted (or if what you write will be hidden for 20 years, as described here).

I’m getting my bedroom ceiling drywalled and the whole room painted soon, so I’ve been getting stuff out of the room, off the walls, etc.

I also left a note to the drywall guy by writing it on the wall. I forgot how FUN it is to do that!!

It feels so “bad,” like  you ’shouldn’t do it except you CAN, ’cause it’s YOUR house, YOUR wall and (most important) it will be repainted soon!

I also left notes for the painter about what nail holes to keep/cover, notes to the ceiling dude about patching something else, can you also attach my headboard to my bed, etc. All on the wall!

It felt so bad. It felt so good. Yet another of life’s contradictions, summed up in something I would’ve gotten in trouble for if I’d done it when I was a little kid.

I also had a flashback to trying to play with my dad’s carpenter’s pencils and not understanding what their point was. Well – duh – it was so you could write on walls!! (yeah, yeah, and all those carpenter-y things too — I know)

(says “time to paint” if you can see through the dirty lens and the dust)

I’m going to get some more painting done just so I can write notes on the walls.

 

Enough of the real world already (another of the Poopy Diaper Chronicles)

I had to call the ‘animal disposal unit’ today.

Until last night, Fanny hadn’t proven to be the great hunter that Allie (the cat) had been.

Like I said though, that was until last night.

Fanny has a couple of “habits” that bug me:  she also barks at nothing (lack of intelligence being another thing that bugs me too I guess) and she licks a lot.

Example: My dad, was over here the other day and said he let her lick the back of his hand and timed it at 2 minutes. (Can’t imagine why I’m such a geek either)

Anyway, I digress.

She was barking last night and I went to get her. Well, she was outside barking at an acorn or something but there was a BIG dead rabbit on the doorway leading from the porch outside.

Lord.

I got her inside but realized that she’d have to go out another coupla times before the night was over.

Usually I just leave the back door open or closed just enough so her nose can open it, but obviously I didn’t want a rabbit carcass presented on my  living room floor, so I had to firmly close the door each time I let her out and check every once in a while.

Not a problem when you’ve got a chew toy waiting for you though. Blood…mmmm

Anyway, called the ‘animal disposal unit’ when I woke up this morning today. Let’s just say there was a lot less to retrieve.

Once again it was dad and the girls who comprised “the unit.” They had me bring Fanny inside, and as I shut the door I heard dad saying, “…and that’s the liver.”

I heard one of the girls going “ewwww” (but she was looking, so she’s already a better person than I). I made the mistake of opening the back door It was almost bagged and Fanny got out again.

The dad said something like “where else are they going to learn about real life?” and I told him are you effing kidding me I had plenty of “real life” without viewing innards of a dead rabbit, thank you very much.

“Well,” he says, “they won’t get to take apart and prepare a chicken because we’re vegetarian” to which I responded, “and I won’t either because I just think they’re gross and only buy the breasts.”

Don’t try to one up me buddy, just take the dead animal, ok? Not that I’m not appreciative – far from it – but if I could stand the disgustingness wanted to learn more about real life revel in my omnivorousness I would’ve taken care of the damn thing myself.

So they cheerfully bagged it and went on their merry way, saying “Remember us at the holidays.”

Again I bit my tongue, instead of saying “the last time ‘remembered you at the holidays’ nobody ever acknowledged it, not to mention actually saying thank you.”

Between the dead rabbit and my tongue-biting there is a lot of blood around here today.

no gloves – that’s a real man

 

Things that make you go ‘hmmm’

I’m not sure what this says about me or others or if it says anything about me or others but…

Based on my (totally anecdotal) experience, about 97% of the people who anthropomorphize their dogs don’t even know what the word ‘anthropomorphize’ means.

Does it indicate I’m just vocabulary-enriched but if I anthropomorphize my dog I can at least name it if I do it?

Does it indicate others aren’t vocabulary-enriched but they know they are anthropomorphizing their dogs, they just can’t put a word to it?

Does it indicate others aren’t vocabulary-enriched and they don’t know they are anthropomorphizing their dogs?

Does it indicate dog owners need to read more to develop their vocabularies?

Does it indicate I need to read less?

Does it indicate anything whatsoever?

I ask these kinds of questions because I think about them, but also sometimes at the – ahem – dog park when I (for example) see a herd of dogs running towards something (or towards nothing — they are dogs after all) I’ll say something like “it looks like the running of the bulls in Pamplona” and people look at me like I’ve just said it in Aramaic.

And I wonder why I’m not married and why the people at work think I’m so “offbeat” and “unique.” Maybe I should start saying “ain’t” more or something.

 

What I learned from NPR today

–geek alert–

I podcast several broadcasts from NPR and PRI (and I’m a member of my local station and give to the “digitize Terry Gross Fresh Air” fund every year (whyy.org) and “pay” with donations for what I podcast).

So in other words I actually paid for this information: I learned today, via one of the Fresh Air podcasts I burned to cd (cdcast?), that they make toupees (wigs??) for the crotch area. Did you know this?

They’re called merkins, and the dude she was interviewing got one because he had cancer. I did a quick search of the web and found an entry for it on Wikipedia too. They’re apparently also used in movies.

I love to learn…

That reminds me of something my sister also heard on NPR: if you eat asparagus and your urine smells afterwards it’s because you have a certain gene. Not everyone’s smells after they eat it.

Who knew? I was 45 before I found that out.

Of course, I guess if your urine doesn’t stink after you eat asparagus then you might not realize that it could even smell, not to mention that there’s a gene that could cause this.

Well, there is.  If you are special.

 

One thing I’m seriously considering getting

or maybe the apricot one

Sure there’s the $15 Walgreens’ version, and this one costs a little lot more but I want the original product because of its name.

 

What I’m looking forward to right now