You’re married for godsake. You STILL don’t have a clue about your wife’s periods?! Dude–get with the program! This is the “beautiful cycle of life” we’re taught about. There’s nothing beautiful about it, mind you, but I think it’s your duty as a man to at least know when your cherished wife is about to have painful breasts, bloating, cramps, and all the rest of that fun stuff, all for the possible “benefit” of bearing a child. Why the hell should we be the only ones to suffer?!

And couldn’t you just let me pretend-have the pride of uniqueness in my brain MRI? Did I have to have THAT taken away too???!!!

Speaking of adding insult to injury, I woke up this morning to no water due to an apparent water main break. Yeah, I’m livin’ the dream…