Well, I haven’t sunk to Honey Boo Boo depths but well, I seem to have a reality show addiction thanks to Netflix. It started with What Not to Wear, continued with Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and a collectibles pawn shop show, and now I’m on Long Island Medium (and I’m a convert-!). What the hell is wrong with me?? This is why I don’t have cable – I’d sit and watch HGTV makeover shows all day. That’s my sinful confession for the day…

I can’t believe it’s been 4 years since I made efforts to write here. Or anywhere really. Facebook has proven to be a good venue for me because I can be a smartas$ in a few words. It also serves as a way for me to keep up with far-flung family and friends, so it has been fun to be on there. Sorry blog.

I can’t explain why I lost the urge to blog, but I am so grateful for all the people who’ve asked me when I’m going to start again.Strange (for me) is that I haven’t really even journaled or written anything “on the side.” Something to do with stopping therapy maybe??

I seem to have lost some of my sarcastic mojo, which apparently was the lifeblood of my blog. Sure, I can still be snarky with the best of them, but some of that edge has softened.

Lord knows I have enough to say, though, so I guess some things haven’t changed…

So I guess we’ll see. I have to start somewhere again and here it is. More to come??

I miss you. I miss the act of writing, I miss being a snarky smartas, I miss having somewhere to vent, I miss my commenters, I miss having the inspiration. Maybe soon…

One of my relatives sent an email to some of her other relatives (am I being vague enough) to say she really didn’t want photos of her to be posted on Facebook.

Once I was done laughing (since you can’t really stop anyone except by asking your relatives like she did but which won’t really help for the other 450,000 relatives, friends and/or acquaintances on FB), I emailed her back with some screen shots of how privacy works on FB and the (only 2) photos I know of her that exist on FB, just to give her an idea.

It is pretty Orwellian, but she uses Gmail (which I consider more Orwellian than FB) and suggested also check her Gmail settings and that I could send some other privacy website links, etc.

Later, I went back to FB, got sucked into the vortex and clicked on someone’s friend’s picture (hey – never hurts to look).

For whatever reason (OK I was checking him out) I looked through his photo albums (because I could). To further illustrate my point that what photos you see depends on what peoples’ privacy settings are, I emailed one of the photos I found.

Now I don’t even know this guy, but because he is a friend of a friend who has his photos marked as viewable by friends of friends I ‘get’ to see pix like this.

One relative replied, saying “Oh good god.  I’m guessing that’s NOT making you feel any better <insert requesting relative’s name here>… I know I’m a bit traumatized by it.”

THAT cracked me up.

But then the “requesting relative” sent back the following message: “now I can’t stop laughing.  what the flarg?!?”

FLARG?! Now I can’t stop laughing!!! Where does she get these words?!

So here’s the photo that inspired such reactions. I’d say this dude (the one on the left is whose photos I was looking at) is fully comfortable in his identity and quite not going to be interested in me!!

When I hit 15000 I’ll let you know the most often-viewed pages.

Before the other night I had my suspicions but I didn’t say anything. But the other night my sister and her husband brought this up out of the blue because (I bet) they thought they were the only ones who’d noticed this.

I STG this is true: Our dogs do ‘fake pees.’ We take them out, tell them to go to the bathroom, they do a quick squat, make the motion, only nothing comes out.

I’ve seen Fanny do this before and thought nobody would believe me if I said something, but since my sister and brother-in-law were the ones to bring it up about their dog I felt the shackles fall, and confirmed their sanity (at least on that matter).

Don’t you wish everyone was as accommodating and eager to please that they would actually ‘fake pee’ (or whatever you wanted – hopefully not fake pee) just to make you happy? Dang, I sure would love that…

Mmm boy did I raise some hackles last night on FaceBook. I just snapped.

Normally, I mostly live and let live. If you’re effed up so be it. If I disagree with you about something non-religious or non-political I’ll let you know, but it’s usually about something trivial and I can joke my way out of most serious conflicts.

But believe it or not there are a lot of things I keep quiet about.

No really.

Especially with my family, which IN GENERAL, is a rather zealous conservative catholic lot. Plus they’re smart and they argue back and can cite footnotes and stuff.

Well, one of my cousins put up as her “profile picture” a “pro-life” image. I can’t explain it but it just set me OFF. Her view is totally expected, given her parentage and their seriously right-leaned catholicism, but all of a sudden I just thought “I cannot be silent any more.”

So I found an image of a hanger with the red bar “no” symbol through it and said, “You can’t stop women from having them so keep them legal and safe.”

And there it was: The Stand. Ooh the comments flew from the west coast contingent. Then my friends chimed in. It was the classic debate, only I didn’t want to debate. I just tried to say, “Look: this is how it IS. It’s not how you want it to be. You can’t stop it, so at least keep it safe.”

But people just kept wanting to take it to another level – the esoteric, theoretical, intellectual, scientific level.

Just couldn’t get people away from that, and back to the reality of real life, but it went the (in hindsight) predictable way. It was ugly.

To me* it came down to “Look: you can’t have it both ways. You can’t expect people who are on the bottom tier of Maslowe’s Hierarchy of Needs to give a crap about their ovulation schedule and use natural family planning, or tell people to not have sex or not use birth control, then not give them any leeway or support if /when they become unexpectedly pregnant. What do you do for the women after you go “save babies”? Do you give them emotional, financial, life-skills techniques?” No, probably not. Nobody said they did anyway.

They just vote on a single issue, expect people to live the way they deem right, and say “eff you” to the ‘post-saving’ practical support. It really pisses me off!

I’d just had it and felt like I had to speak out.

I feel my true “self” is muted enough from my family (I’m the raging liberal, pro-choice, agnostic, F word spouting feminist, although I’m really working on the F word part — not my most attractive quality), because a high premium has been placed on “being nice” and “not stirring things up.”

But I spoke out. No other family members really chimed in except in private mail. But I had good support from my friends.

Granted, it’s a heated topic that not everyone wants to discuss — usually I stay away from these debates myself, so I understand. We tend to avoid politics and religion anyway, right? and some would say this is BOTH.

But it’s kind of sad I got pushed to fury before I had the courage to say something. Still, I’m glad I did it. I felt (excuse the cliché) freed. In their minds I’m probably damned to hell (apparently they live on a different earth than I do), and I’m sure they pity and will pray for me. Well, cool on the prayer. I’ll take all the good wishes I can get.

Still, it’s disheartening that people are so stuck in their dogma that they can’t see past it to another way of looking at an issue. I was basically agreeing with them in the sense that there should be no abortion. But that’s where any possible commonality ended.

I gave a real example of how a guy who does work for me is so ignorant (in the truest sense of the word) that he didn’t know that once digital tv came in he didn’t have to lose all his tv channels. Not to mention that you could get a converter, etc. He had no idea, despite all the commercials and hype about it.

He lives in another world of surviving through the day, not thinking about or possibly knowing about, “natural family planning” or all that crap. It’s a world this contingent of the family doesn’t understand.

So disheartening…

*and this is my blog, so things will always come down to my opinion

Edit: forgot to acknowledge Karen for giving me the word/definition of ‘spoon’ in this context.