Today’s dead animal is on the porch, of course. It can never be something out in the grass that the lawn guy runs over and I never even know about.

Today’s animal is a vole/mole and its tail is gone. I didn’t look at it much beyond that, but it looked like an overfed baby bird with a pointy beak.

There’s apparently a reason that my animals want me to know every time one of them kills something. After all, I put in the garden, I encouraged the birds, I let the cats out*—what do I expect, right?

Well, I’ll tell you: I just want a few days in a row where I don’t have to scoop something dead from my back porch. Apparently that’s asking too much.

Well, countless moles/voles, squirrels, rabbits, birds, and a bat later—I get it. OK? I get it.

I could call PS to get rid of it, but per his younger sisters he didn’t give them all the money I gave him for them. He (allegedly) only gave them half of what I intended and (allegedly) kept the rest for himself.

Clearly, the kid doesn’t know I have trust issues that he’s just fed right into. I should charge him for the therapy it’s gonna take to talk this one out.

*The reason for this is that I got tired of the cats thinking they were dogs, and trying to get out every time I let the real dog out. They got mad, and let me know (via inappropriate urination) that they weren’t happy, so I said ‘the hell with it’ and started letting them out. And sure enough, the inappropriate indoor behaviors ceased. It’s true that this is when gross exterior behaviors began, but apparently I have to compromise on this one.