was the dollar I spent to have the little girl behind me come retrieve the dead bird off the back porch and then finding that since this morning “it was gone” from under the plant on the porch. Just gone.

Of course I know something ate it, but I am choosing to not think about it any further.

She is the youngest and was SO excited to be the first to volunteer and not be superceded by an older sibling, and of course by knowing she’d get paid for her “troubles.” She was genuinely disappointed we couldn’t find it, and matter-of-factly said that Girl or the cats probably ate it, but she wasn’t so disappointed that she forgot to ask if she’d be paid anway.

Of course she was gonna get paid—can’t you see the “I’m a sucker for a cute kid” tatoo on my forehead?!

Those kids are making a fortune off me, and not even for anything really “beneficial” to me, like cleaning the gutters or raking or something. It’s all in dead animal removal (or as a consolation when the dead animal’s been made gone already).

Not that I don’t appreciate it, mind you,* especially since I’ve already used my sister’s birthday present coupons for dead animal removals (and then some).

Thank god I can get rid of the m/voles myself or I’d be so poor I’d have to eat the damn things for nourishment.

*See this post for just one such incident: Yes, lightning can strike twice…or more.