sometimes when I look in the mirror I think ‘damn! girl—not bad—you might have a 1/2 six-pack on those abs—woo hoo!’

and other times I wonder if I ate bags of cotton balls in my sleep, and they’re what’s poking through from the inside of my skin.

And which is true? Are either or neither or both? And do I really want to know the truth, or would I rather have the ambiguity of never quite knowing for sure? And if I did eat bags of cotton balls how come I don’t remember buying them?