Allie’s all in my face (read: in my lap, walking the keyboard, trying to suck on my ears) like she hasn’t seen me in a year.

There’s a bird stuck on the back porch. Since the door was almost fully closed this says a lot about the intelligence of the finch.

Girl’s trying to get any morsel possible out of the long-licked-out cat food bag. Oh goodie, now she’s ripping the bag into tiny shreds.

Bubba hasn’t moved since he perched himself on the couch when I woke up. Oh no, excuse me, now he’s licking his crotch, which he can barely find since he’s so effing fat.

I have to do bills, go to grocery, go get more of Girl’s (ahem) herbal pain meds, and vacuum so I can stop sneezing. Those are just the highlights, of course, and don’t include bonus activities like cleaning the bathtub, scoopin’ the poop, making yogurt, etc. Let’s get this party started!!

I couldn’t wait to grow up to experience grown-up stuff and now I’m livin’ the dream…