Or: things I learned so you don’t have to.

—The time to realize you’ve just thrown away your last formerly-prime-time-but-now-relegated-to-play clothes-bra-that-you-still-wear-yet-wonder-why-the-girls-droop-to-your-knees should be before you throw it away.

Otherwise, you are forced to wear one of the “good ones” for sweaty stuff like working out until you can get new ones and relegate the newly-old ones to “play clothes” status.

—The whole purpose you buy a backup hard drive is to do regular backups. One crucial component of a successful backup on your hard drive is to actually do the backups. That way, when your laptop crashes you have a (hello?!) backup to go back to. You don’t just buy it to get it/have it and then only do one backup in over 1 year. This is a lesson I didn’t have to personally learn, but which I learned through #3.

—If you don’t want your missing cat to come back you apparently have to move away. Otherwise, they seem to find their way back to you.

—Sometimes your dog “cries” (yes, mom, more anthropomorphizing, but at least I know the meaning of the word “anthropomorphizing” and the correct syntax. You should be happy about that even though I haven’t provided you any grandchildren other than my anthropomorphized animal.).

Anyway, before I got lost on that tangent (I know—hard to believe) I was going to say that dogs are like babies sometimes: they cry but you don’t know why. (Although this woman apparently does know why babies cry: http://www.oprah.com/tows/slide/200611/20061113/slide_20061113_350_101.jhtml)

Hopefully these ‘lessons learned’ will help someone live a better life, avoid repeating my mistakes, etc. Or maybe nobody will even think of them because I will finally learn from your comments that I am the freak I’ve always feared becoming.