That title doesn’t look right. It’s not like it’s imperative you know these things right now; it’s more that I would like you to understand what’s going on in my head right now. Being the wordy person I am, it just came out that way and now I think I’m stuck with it.

I guess I could change it to (say) “Right now: what you need to know about me,” which sounds like every book that’s come on the market in the past 5 years. Have you noticed that? More and more have this format— “EXCITING TITLE <colon>: a really long explanation about what the book is actually about that’s rarely less than 2 clauses long.”

Anyway, back to my real point—me:

-I have either the plague or a cold. Remember how I said I hadn’t been eating well or sleeping enough? (See the last What you need to know about me right now). Yeah, well despite 2 whole nights in a row of 8 1/2—9 hours sleep I am sick. I am biserable.

-Ironically, today it’s 4 years 11 months since I quit smoking “to increase my health.” (That’s worked out well, hasn’t it?) I still managed to gulp down eat my anniversary Ted Drewes Concrete to also “increase the amount of fluids in my system” (Oreo extra Oreo, for those who want to bring me one on my death sick bed).

-Work is not easing up even though my cellmate cubemate and I were told that “things really quiet down in Dec.” We’re thinking they must mean it’s quiet on Dec. 25.

-I am 44 years old and my mother had to call me and “gently remind” me to return the RSVP to my uncle’s wedding. That is just beyond sad and lame on my part.

-For the last several dozen few years I’ve put something like this on RSVPs (when I finally do return them) under ‘number of guests’: “One, but I reserve the right to bring a husband/significant other should I find one between now and your event.” Well, how fun that I just returned an RSVP and didn’t have to include my standard note. NO I’m not married, but I am going with my sig ot.

-Why is it that I want to buy myself more presents right now instead of presents for others?! This happens every year. I can think of 50 things I want but have I started thinking about what others want? No, not so much.

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