I wrote this last night while I, well—read for yourself:

At this moment I am trapped in my bedroom with a snoring, farting dog and the door closed. And I am praying I don’t see something slide under the door.

Again I blame the cats. Allie came hauling through here a few minutes ago, chasing something.

Yep it’s comin’ on Spring so that means it’s comin’ on varmint time. Yee haw! Tonight we have a mouse in the house, which if you’ve read any of my 1200 previous posts about animals in inappropriate places, you’ll know is unusual (I typically get m/voles).

update: I just turned the radio on—and loud—so I can’t hear what’s going on. Just had a thought of someone finding me in here dead tomorrow with a noxious odor still in the air (and 2—no make that 2 1/2 or 3—other animals in another room). That would be humiliating.

a few minutes later: summoned the courage to see if I could get Allie to take the damn thing downstairs or (preferably) outside. But no such luck. Guess it’s more fun let it go, chase it, pounce and <that’s when I left the room>.

more time passes: Allie and Bubba are in a standoff, each staring the other down. I guess Bubba decided he wanted in on Allie’s mouse (talk about entitlement!), and Allie was guarding her prey and growling. All over a mouse that seems to be dead…

I don’t want a mouse in my bedroom later, so I retreated to the “Farting Dog Room” and closed the door.

So here I sit with my farting snoring dog. This will not happen again. Starting tomorrow night they’re going back to the basement at bedtime. If it’s warm enough to find a mouse, they can just have at it downstairs where I’ll hopefully never see it.

–>3/12 addendum: The mouse was gone when I woke up this morning. I hoped they had eaten it. This being the HouseOfDeadAnimalsInInappropriatePlaces, however, I found it intact, hidden between a towel and a sheet that I’m (gasp!) throwing away.

You have to know when to walk away from lots of things—relationships, cats chasing mice, washing and re-using mouse-infested linens. Maybe I’m finally learning.