Warning to ub: there is way TMI here (only implied)…Although if you look in the category list (“posted under…”)  prior to reading it also says “TMI” (like yesterday’s did too). Nevertheless, a special caution for you anyway…

Rule #1 of grocery shopping: Never shop when you’re hungry.
Rule #2 of grocery shopping: Think about rule #1 before you go to the store.

I broke both of those rules yesterday, and since I didn’t realize it until I got to the grocery store, not only was I craving every crappy, fatty, sugary product I’d usually ignore (trail mix?! ewww. Archway Molasses cookies mmmmmmmm) but I started getting that low – blood – sugar – must – eat – NOWWWWWWWWW sensation.

A couple of weeks ago I’d bought these Kashi – flax – pumpkin – wheat – sesame – edame – quinoa – whatever – seed – low – sugar – high – protein – high – fiber – breakfast bar kind of things that weren’t actually too bad but that were expensive.

This time I’d planned to look for something just as healthy but not as expensive, so when I was in the aisle I tried (for about 10 seconds) to find something low sugar, high fiber, cheaper.

But I had the tunnel vision that comes when you’re about to lose consciousness because you’ve broken both cardinal rules of grocery shopping.

So I saw “Caramel” on the box of Fiber One Bars (New!), I caved immediately. I didn’t see the “naturally flavored” part ’til later. I ripped into it and knew right away from the smell that it was fake caramel and it’d be nasty.

And it was nasty until my taste buds got used to the grossness and the dizziness went away.

Then I had the moral dilemma: These sucked. I knew they sucked. And (adding insult to injury) they weren’t any cheaper than the other ones.

Should I put the box down somewhere and walk away quickly, or did I have the moral obligation to buy them now that I had opened them?

Damn that conscience. I bought them because I felt like I “had to” and I “should” and all that.

Damn my cheapness even more, though, because I couldn’t just throw them away after I’d bought them, even though I didn’t like them.

No, in fact I’ve actually eaten 2 of them today. They didn’t taste any better than they did yesterday, but they filled me up.

Oh no: really damn. While I was writing this I looked at the box to catch the name of the product, when I saw (in large red print): provides 35% of daily value of fiber!!! I’ve had 3 of them in the last 24 hours. And Grape Nuts. And fruit.

Guess we all know what that means…it might be a rough* coupla days. Thank god I work from home tomorrow.

*Oh I just made a pun—get it?! —rough?