Background: Every year for the past 15 years there’ve been 2 areas on my back porch where flies congregate.

I kill ’em all off, they’re back later in the day. Sometimes a few venture inside <another anecdote>, and since there have been more coming inside lately, I decided to see if I could find a natural remedy to get rid of them at the source.

More background: Yes, I have checked for stagnant water, dead animals, dog/cat poop, garbage, etc. I even patched the screens.

The previous owners obviously knew about this since they left a fly swatter on the porch. At the time I couldn’t imagine why, in the modern age of screens, people would need a fly swatter.

HA! That question was answered about 5 minutes after I moved in. One of the many little problems they didn’t mention. I think they got a bit of karmic payback in that they are now divorced.

Anyway, I found a site on the nerdnet, getridofthings.com. Had I looked at the home page, a couple of things might have clued me in, like the subtitle, “A People’s Guide to Better Living.”

There’s something about “A People’s Guide…” that just grates at me. I’m not really sure, but it seems like “A Person’s Guide” or “Your Guide” or “People’s Guide” might be okay, but “A People’s Guide”??? Oh wait – I get it. Maybe they mean it in kind of a retro-Soviet and/or hippy thing (“Power to the Peoples”?). OK, never mind.

Anyhoo, some of the recent articles on “How to get rid of…”

  • Flea beetles
  • Carpet beetles
  • Japanese beetles
  • a Ghost

Under flies, the natural remedies that were submitted and confirmed by literally dozens of “peoples” were:

  • Filling ziploc bags halfway with water and “hanging them up.” Needless to say, I haven’t figured out how to do that yet.
  • Hang up cds.

Both of these are allegedly effective because flies don’t see well and/or think these are wasp nests, depending on which folksy reason you want to believe.

I decided to try the least – messy -though – definitely – most- tacky option, the cds. I had such high hopes for this remedy. This is not your grandmother’s remedy. This is the 21st century remedy to an age-old problem. It has to work, right?

I put up 3 cds in strategic locations with fishing line (’cause that’ll help the cds look less obvious, right?), but, well, you be the judge.

If nothing else this photo illustrates how difficult it is to photograph flies. It’s hard to focus and not have them move when you’re standing on a flimsy chair wavering around and cursing a lot. There were easily a dozen flies laughing at me from their cool new hangout each cd (not to mention the neighbors).

Every fly I killed earlier has been replicated at least 3 times over. You’re seeing only a handful of the ones that weren’t off taunting me from another screen.

At least they stay in the same 2 corners year after year, but I would like to get rid of them.

Sooo…god help me the baggy/water solution is gonna be next, when I’m in a really good mood. And feel like getting really wet.

But here’s kind of a cool bug I photo’d. successfully. All I know is that it lets you get really close but it does fly. And it was really lost if it was on my porch.

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