If Dick Cheney George Bush can be president then I can totally do this job: Fracture Mechanics and Structural Analysis Engineer

This is an extract from the job posting:

*Direct others to perform the tasks. I’m the oldest child so if there’s one thing I know, it’s how to direct others.

*Develop creative solutions and reduce analysis complexity to create accurate and cost effective solutions to complex engineering problems. I totally think outside the box and come up with creative solutions. Reducing analysis complexity could be a challenge, since by its very nature analysis IS complex, but I can work on improving my personal metrics for that skill set.

*Interact with NRC, Utility, and other internal organizations during the approval and design phases; being able to present the results, ramifications, and recommendations regarding the analysis and or design modifications. I can talk to just about anyone, and am always willing to voice an opinion.

*Fracture Toughness and P-T curve evaluations of Reactor Pressure Vessel. I’ve broken bones so I know how tough fractures can be. I’ve also had a TON of P-T (physical therapy) over the years for various injuries. Since I’m my own Reactor Pressure Vessel I do curve evaluations daily.

*Perform Reactor Pressure Vessel and Nozzle Stress and Fatigue Evaluations as well as Flaw Evaluation of Shroud, Jet Pumps, Reactor Pressure Vessel and Nozzle, Core Spray Line and Spargers. Being somewhat analytical and critical, I’m really good at Flaw Evaluation. And this is my first time admitting this, but Spargers and Core Spray Lines are my secret passions.

*Work in a regulated environment (i.e.: Traceable documentation for 40 year retention and Verification of all work). Technically every environment is regulated to a certain degree except places experiencing total anarchy. I’ve got the retention thing down too, e.g. I have retained my body for 40+ years.

*Interface with design engineers, other analysts, project managers, licensing engineers and materials engineers. Those licensing engineers can be PITAs but I’m good with the others.

*Minimum of 4 years of experience in the industry in Structural Stress and ANSYS Finite Element Analysis. Dang it. Other than the Stress part (which I have down pat), this could be the deal-breaker (I’m not even sure what ANSYS is). But you know, they always put down their ideal person’s qualifications in these job listings, so maybe they’d be willing to compromise a little. And I can Google/Scroogle ANSYS; I think I could fake it for an interview.

So what the heck? I’m going for this job. Wish me luck!