Recent text session with friend’s 9-year-old son (using older brother’s phone):

Him: Sup

Me: Gettin’ haircut and dye job. This is John? <ed. note: He has been known to attempt to snow me and say it’s his sister, so I have to verify. Soon to come: secret word>

Him: Yes

Me: Sup with you? Got your homework done? What are the sibs doing? How does your mom like her job? Kiss your dad for me.

Him: Good