Mmm boy did I raise some hackles last night on FaceBook. I just snapped.

Normally, I mostly live and let live. If you’re effed up so be it. If I disagree with you about something non-religious or non-political I’ll let you know, but it’s usually about something trivial and I can joke my way out of most serious conflicts.

But believe it or not there are a lot of things I keep quiet about.

No really.

Especially with my family, which IN GENERAL, is a rather zealous conservative catholic lot. Plus they’re smart and they argue back and can cite footnotes and stuff.

Well, one of my cousins put up as her “profile picture” a “pro-life” image. I can’t explain it but it just set me OFF. Her view is totally expected, given her parentage and their seriously right-leaned catholicism, but all of a sudden I just thought “I cannot be silent any more.”

So I found an image of a hanger with the red bar “no” symbol through it and said, “You can’t stop women from having them so keep them legal and safe.”

And there it was: The Stand. Ooh the comments flew from the west coast contingent. Then my friends chimed in. It was the classic debate, only I didn’t want to debate. I just tried to say, “Look: this is how it IS. It’s not how you want it to be. You can’t stop it, so at least keep it safe.”

But people just kept wanting to take it to another level – the esoteric, theoretical, intellectual, scientific level.

Just couldn’t get people away from that, and back to the reality of real life, but it went the (in hindsight) predictable way. It was ugly.

To me* it came down to “Look: you can’t have it both ways. You can’t expect people who are on the bottom tier of Maslowe’s Hierarchy of Needs to give a crap about their ovulation schedule and use natural family planning, or tell people to not have sex or not use birth control, then not give them any leeway or support if /when they become unexpectedly pregnant. What do you do for the women after you go “save babies”? Do you give them emotional, financial, life-skills techniques?” No, probably not. Nobody said they did anyway.

They just vote on a single issue, expect people to live the way they deem right, and say “eff you” to the ‘post-saving’ practical support. It really pisses me off!

I’d just had it and felt like I had to speak out.

I feel my true “self” is muted enough from my family (I’m the raging liberal, pro-choice, agnostic, F word spouting feminist, although I’m really working on the F word part — not my most attractive quality), because a high premium has been placed on “being nice” and “not stirring things up.”

But I spoke out. No other family members really chimed in except in private mail. But I had good support from my friends.

Granted, it’s a heated topic that not everyone wants to discuss — usually I stay away from these debates myself, so I understand. We tend to avoid politics and religion anyway, right? and some would say this is BOTH.

But it’s kind of sad I got pushed to fury before I had the courage to say something. Still, I’m glad I did it. I felt (excuse the clichĂ©) freed. In their minds I’m probably damned to hell (apparently they live on a different earth than I do), and I’m sure they pity and will pray for me. Well, cool on the prayer. I’ll take all the good wishes I can get.

Still, it’s disheartening that people are so stuck in their dogma that they can’t see past it to another way of looking at an issue. I was basically agreeing with them in the sense that there should be no abortion. But that’s where any possible commonality ended.

I gave a real example of how a guy who does work for me is so ignorant (in the truest sense of the word) that he didn’t know that once digital tv came in he didn’t have to lose all his tv channels. Not to mention that you could get a converter, etc. He had no idea, despite all the commercials and hype about it.

He lives in another world of surviving through the day, not thinking about or possibly knowing about, “natural family planning” or all that crap. It’s a world this contingent of the family doesn’t understand.

So disheartening…

*and this is my blog, so things will always come down to my opinion

Edit: forgot to acknowledge Karen for giving me the word/definition of ‘spoon’ in this context.