Animal of the day

Once again proving that you’re never too old to be a sucker, I am a new mother at the ripe old age of 46.

Here’s my new-to-me baby, Fanny.

The photos aren’t that great, but regular readers will get sick of seeing her photos over the next X amount of time, anyway, so these will give you enough of an idea…



She’s one year old, chews on everything, has a tail that could be registered as a weapon in some states, and just discovered the scent of rabbit a couple days ago.

Despite being hissed at she continues to attempt befriending the cats, has found a potential escape hatch (in the yard) that Girl the beagle never found, and likes to dive bomb the bed and lick me to wake me up (which frankly, I don’t like, but it does makes me laugh and is hard to escape except by hiding under the pillow).

“Mother” and “daughter” are doing fine, except “mother” is exhausted from saying “leave it” all the time to “daughter,” who’s a little dense.

The new mother is registered at Petsmart and the St L Hills Vet. Clinic, which will undoubtedly receive lots of dogupuncture business as Fanny ages.

She’s pretty irresistible, albeit aggravating at times, but I guess that’s how we all survived, isn’t it? In some way, we were all just cute enough that our parents didn’t kill us.


*Cardinals coach: Hot

*Kurt Warner: Still hot

*Favorite commercial (only one that sticks out): Conan doing the Swedish commercial

*All things being equal I would’ve rather watched Animal Planet’s Puppy Bowl (oh to have “at will” cable).

I just found out about the Puppy Bowl the other day and watched all the clips I can find on the NerdNet. I’ve even thought of getting the – ahem- video collection. Looza? You betcha.

*Think this post sounds like  a “chick” post? Whatever. I bet there are lots of guys who’d agree with me on at least one of these points.

I think this is abso-freakin’-lutely hilarious. Granted, I’m easily amused but still…

This proves there is a website for everything, and if you had any doubts this should rid them for good:

(I saw this at )


My sister sent me this…


Dang it. I just realized this entry will be one more rabbit reference for people to come to my site for. Alas, most of my references to rabbits are to dead ones and to the animals that have killed them (mine).

OK, well I envisioned today doing leisurely reading, not counting up how many people got to my site looking for rabbit-related entries, but if not on easter then when, right?

These are the tallies just since mid-July — ~175 and counting. Entries in red are searches that are either alarming, were viewed many times, have typos-that-make-me-wonder-what-this-world-is-coming-to, or are just funny.

You’ll also notice a preponderance of searches for dead rabbits.

People are strange <says the woman who just spent >1 hour pulling this out of a text file, importing into Excel, totaling up, highlighting the oddities in red.>

Yeah, they’re weird — I’m not.

+baby rabbit +abuse  
a dead rabbit in the air 2
A rabbit and a vole together 3
baby rabbit 14
Baby rabbit and bunny 2
baby rabbit and cat  
baby rabbits 17
baby rabbits progress 2
baby-rabbit dead  
backyard rabbit removal  
beagle grabbed baby bunny  
biggest rabbit 33
biggest rabbit in the world 4
bunny dead  
bunny dead car 2
bunny eating from bird feeder  
bunny house  
bunny pics(small) 2
bunny rabbit out of keyboard keys
bunny reading 2
bunny tatoo  
bunny wabbit 2
cat caught rabbit  
catch bunny cat  
cute cat and rabbit 2
dead baby bunnies  
dead bloody bunnies 2
dead bunnies 4
dead bunny 20
Dead bunnys 3
dead rabbit 5
dead rabbit photo  
dead rabbits 2
dead rabbits backyard  
dead rabbits pictures  
disgusting bunny  
fat bunny rabbit 3
fat rabbit  
Funny baby rabbits  
girl bunny in a garden  
girl holding bunny  
holding a pet bunny  
holding a rabbit 4
holding bunny  
holding rabbit 5
how do you know if a baby rabbit is dead 2
images of baby rabbits  
is my baby rabbit dead  
mall bunny photos 2
people holding rabbits  
rabbit babies  
rabbit beagle 5 <I just want to know if they meant “rabid.”>
rabbit caption  
rabbit cats 2
rabbit claws  
rabbit dead  
rabbit eats dead baby 2
rabbit holding  
rabbit House  
rabbit only 2
rabbit sleeping house  
rabbit small 4
rabbit storys 2
rabbit tatoo 2
really small rabbit  
small baby rabbits 2
small bunny 10
small bunnys that stay small  
small pet bunny rabbits  
small rabbit 9
small rabbit cute  
small rabbits professional photos  
tatoo bunny picture  
the biggest bunny in the world 3
the biggest rabbit 2
the biggest rabbit ever!  
upset baby rabbit  
very small baby bunnies  
why cant my dog smell a rabbit  

I wrote this last night while I, well—read for yourself:

At this moment I am trapped in my bedroom with a snoring, farting dog and the door closed. And I am praying I don’t see something slide under the door.

Again I blame the cats. Allie came hauling through here a few minutes ago, chasing something.

Yep it’s comin’ on Spring so that means it’s comin’ on varmint time. Yee haw! Tonight we have a mouse in the house, which if you’ve read any of my 1200 previous posts about animals in inappropriate places, you’ll know is unusual (I typically get m/voles).

update: I just turned the radio on—and loud—so I can’t hear what’s going on. Just had a thought of someone finding me in here dead tomorrow with a noxious odor still in the air (and 2—no make that 2 1/2 or 3—other animals in another room). That would be humiliating.

a few minutes later: summoned the courage to see if I could get Allie to take the damn thing downstairs or (preferably) outside. But no such luck. Guess it’s more fun let it go, chase it, pounce and <that’s when I left the room>.

more time passes: Allie and Bubba are in a standoff, each staring the other down. I guess Bubba decided he wanted in on Allie’s mouse (talk about entitlement!), and Allie was guarding her prey and growling. All over a mouse that seems to be dead…

I don’t want a mouse in my bedroom later, so I retreated to the “Farting Dog Room” and closed the door.

So here I sit with my farting snoring dog. This will not happen again. Starting tomorrow night they’re going back to the basement at bedtime. If it’s warm enough to find a mouse, they can just have at it downstairs where I’ll hopefully never see it.

–>3/12 addendum: The mouse was gone when I woke up this morning. I hoped they had eaten it. This being the HouseOfDeadAnimalsInInappropriatePlaces, however, I found it intact, hidden between a towel and a sheet that I’m (gasp!) throwing away.

You have to know when to walk away from lots of things—relationships, cats chasing mice, washing and re-using mouse-infested linens. Maybe I’m finally learning.

Note: All images are of my brain from an MRI. The images are on a cd and are my backup in case I lose my real mind. Do you have a cd of YOUR brain?

I may not post this–I don’t know. But I need to vent, and to who better than to an audience that gets here by googling something like ‘why is my dog stupid’ or ‘ASKED NEIGHBOR ABOUT TREE – GOT MAD’ or ‘how do panties work.’

All of which are real searches people have done to get here, BTW…though admittedly me dissing them like that wasn’t a good way to endear my readership.

In my (unfortunately) vast experience, breakups often happen like this: You know in the back of your mind that something’s wrong but you can’t quite get that thought transfered to the front of your mind.


Something is happening of course, which you don’t realize until immediately–and I do mean immediately—as the main event begins. Maybe it’s been that the back of your mind hasn’t been yelling loudly enough to the front of your mind or you’re in profound denial. Or both.

I guess it is denial come to think of it. Because usually a breakup is preceeded by this faintly-heard, screaming voice in the back of your mind that’s going “nooooooooooooooo.” You’d think by now I’d have learned to listen to it (and THEN what would I do).


In fact, the front of your mind even says stuff like “if the Man and I don’t work out I’m going to either move South or move to France.” Or (to a friend) “I think we’re near the end…” Yet there’s still this “dense matter” in your brain that doesn’t allow the back and the front to synch up with each other.

That “dense matter” my friends, is the heart. That stupid heart somehow expands big enough to invade your brainspace and actually block thought, as illustrated in this slightly modified MRI image of my brain:



Until the main event: he says something along the lines of “It’s not you. It’s me.” Or the trite (yet oft-used) “I don’t know what it is <editorial comment: bull****> is but my heart’s just not in it,” or <Insert another lame-ass excuse here>. Whatever.

He could’ve said it was because you’re a crazy effing beeatch and he’s scared of you, but in the end it doesn’t matter.

All you hear is that “nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo” sound again, followed by an “ohhhhhhhhhhhhh,” followed by a tear that seeps out even though you swear to god you will not let him see you cry.

You hear your heart crumpling up and going ‘not again.’ I can’t do this again. I really like you. Rapidly this turns into I hate you and HowCouldYouDoThisRightBeforeMyPeriodYouAssholeIHopeYouGetA KidneyStoneTheSizeOfToledo. But I’m not at that point right now. I’m still at “noooooooooooooooooooooo.”



It was late last night. I was feeling something wasn’t right…and a feeling you feel so strong…I knew that there was something wrong…then you gazed up at me and the answer was plain to see, ’cause I saw the light in your eyes.

But we had our fling (echo: we had our fling) I just never would suspect a thing (another echo: suspect a thing), ‘til that little bell began to ring….in my head (echo: in my heaaaaddd)…I tried to run, though I knew it wouldn’t help me none…

Thank you Todd baby (from Something/Anything?). You’ve helped me through many of these effing life experiences…




The only reason I’m commenting on the Westminster Kennel Show is because a beagle won.

Actually, I’m not even excited that a beagle won but am more excited because the

  • winner, a prize-winning, trained animal acted just like
  • my beagle, a barely-certified-for-the-TOUCH-program, (see Support Dogs link on right)  forgot-all-her-training animal

Note the similarities between the one in the video—a prize-winning, trained animal that won an “exclusive” event—and my dog:

  • barks adorably (some would say excessively) when excited
  • pulls on leash
  • can’t stop sniffing
  • only cares about the food
  • looks only at the person with the food
  • doesn’t obey and stay
  • jumps on somebody (!)
  • tries to wander away
  • shakes self off for no apparent reason

Really, the similarities are uncanny.


And now, for a few things that are just wrong:

ohno.jpg justwrong.jpg

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