Summer m/vole count

<previous entry on same topic but you can also click on the ‘Summer m/vole count’ category to the right – nobody ever does though so that’s why I do these ‘click by numbers’ kind of prefaces – it’s for YOUR convenience, since you are kind enough to read me>

I keep forgetting to add this one into the count: My friend, P, was kind enough to clean up parts of a m/vole when he cleaned my back (screened in) porch for me recently.

The real beauty humor in it was that he didn’t realize he was cleaning up animal guts. He just said “There was something gross over there…” hehehe

I’ll knock on wood, but so far it’s been a bad summer for “kitty satisfaction” in the m/vole department.

There are lots of baby bunnies around though. Lord knows the “my breed was bred for bunny-sniffing” beagle isn’t getting any, but that’s okay because this time (click here) was traumatic enough to last me a few years.

number 7


I have a math problem. And it’s a revolting math problem to boot: When do you count a dead m/vole as one dead m/vole and when do you count it as 1/2 a dead m/vole?

All that’s left on the back porch are, um, the innards. Yeahhh, I can’t wait to clean that up. Which is why I’m writing this instead…

Since, to my knowledge, there is no how – many – parts – of – a – mole/vole – count- as – an – entire – m/vole rule book (but tell me if there is one) I’m going to take the higher number and use it in the summer count (click on summer m/vole count category if you don’t know what I’m referring to).

I think I can justify counting it as one by pointing out that cleaning up bloody guts is way more disgusting than cleaning up “just” the carcass.

Plus, since I’m the only one I know of who’s doing the summer m/vole count, I think I can make up my own rules regardless.

God I don’t want to go out there.

I just want to know “Why?”

What makes a cat (that eats an animal’s head and tail) “just say no” to its innards? Did he smell something icky in the innards that made him say “No, I don’t think I’m eating the innards tonight”?

Or was he just too full after eating the head, the tail, the arms and legs, skin, etc. and just decided to save the guts for later? No, that couldn’t be: it was Bubba. He’s never met a food item he didn’t eat too much of.

If I were a conspiracy theorist/anthropomorphist I would say the cats are mad at me because I’m dog-sitting this w/end so they’re telling me they’re p.o.’d by leaving the guts behind because they know I hate gut cleanup duty the most.

But that implies they have a moral compass, which is clearly not the case, or they never would have put me in this position to begin with.

Plus, it was Bubba who did this. And come on — he’s just not smart enough to have a moral compass. He can barely find the litter box.

Therefore, I hereby count this as summer m/vole number 6. But I’d count it as 526 if grossness were a relevant factor.

Plus one=

5 this year

This time: I got to hear its last squeak before Allie brought it (dead) onto the porch and then totally ignored it.

I guess the thrill was in the catch. This is often the case in life, eh?

Yes, here you get not just dead animal stats but also philosophical musings. All for free — my gift to you.

You’re welcome.

Plus one=4 this year

I think this is a low count compared to past years, but

  • It’s been extremely rainy this year and
  • I’ve never really counted before so it is possible, although unlikely, that in past years I only had a few but it seemed like more. In fact, it’s so unlikely that I am crossing it off the list. The m/vole count is low due to all the rain.

Ra**its, on the other hand, gawd. Yesterday morning — I swear this is true — there were 2 rabbits walking down my sidewalk.

Not hopping, not scrambling, not scurrying over each other, but standing up and walking one behind the other, sauntering almost.

For the first time I almost wished for a couple more because it would’ve been a great photo. Granted, they are everywhere else so it’s not like I’m jonesing to see them or anything.


I couldn’t lob it over the fence because the neighbor is outside, so I had to actually dispose of it responsibly throw it in the trash.

I considered calling the neighbor kids, but compared to a snake or a rabbit this was nothing, although I begged made my sister stay on the phone with me until I was done. Thanks Em!

<ed. 6/19: bolded info. on this topic due to reader confusion — have had a couple of verbal comments too — and/or writer vagueness; Here’s the upshot: I have removed innumerable m/voles from my basement, back porch and house. This summer I decided to do a “summer m/vole count,”  much like the Audubon Society (?) does its annual (christmas?) bird count. Get it?>

Since there have only been 2 so far and I can still keep track of them, I’ve decided to write a post every time I get a m/vole* off my back porch this summer.

Well I won’t really “get them,” the cats will, but I will be lobbing them over the fence into the neighbor’s yard “getting them” off my back porch (and/or avoiding them), so I feel entitled to the need to document each disposal.

For some background : This is getting a little ridiculous.

You could also just click on the Dead Animal of the Day link on the right, and 98% of the time it’ll be about dead m/voles.

I understand this could get kinda boring for you, dear reader, but this blog is about me, after all, and it could be worse: I could use this blog to track my periods or every time I said the eff word or every weed I pull out of the weedpatch garden (which I don’t have enough time to actually pull, not to mention to document).

So think of this as a database with words. Heck, it’s better than that: It’s an interactive database you can leave comments on!

To to make it official: This weekend I lobbed removed #2.

In the unlikely event you need a reminder this is about the first one of the summer: Summer’s here even though it was 34 degrees the other day

*or any part thereof

Today we welcome one of the first signs of summer. Welcome it with me, won’t you?

For today on the back porch I found the first dead m/vole of the season.

Summer is here, cold weather be damned!