What people Googled that got them here (searches)


Someone searched this term and got to my blog: “children eagerly watching b,,bs”.

Note that I inserted the ,, to deter future searchers for “children eagerly watching b,,bs” (Do I need to bring up all of the searches I have had for ra,bits and bu,nies?)

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My sister sent me this…

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Dang it. I just realized this entry will be one more rabbit reference for people to come to my site for. Alas, most of my references to rabbits are to dead ones and to the animals that have killed them (mine).

OK, well I envisioned today doing leisurely reading, not counting up how many people got to my site looking for rabbit-related entries, but if not on easter then when, right?

These are the tallies just since mid-July — ~175 and counting. Entries in red are searches that are either alarming, were viewed many times, have typos-that-make-me-wonder-what-this-world-is-coming-to, or are just funny.

You’ll also notice a preponderance of searches for dead rabbits.

People are strange <says the woman who just spent >1 hour pulling this out of a text file, importing into Excel, totaling up, highlighting the oddities in red.>

Yeah, they’re weird — I’m not.

+baby rabbit +abuse  
a dead rabbit in the air 2
A rabbit and a vole together 3
baby rabbit 14
Baby rabbit and bunny 2
baby rabbit and cat  
baby rabbits 17
baby rabbits progress 2
baby-rabbit dead  
backyard rabbit removal  
beagle grabbed baby bunny  
biggest rabbit 33
biggest rabbit in the world 4
bunny dead  
bunny dead car 2
bunny eating from bird feeder  
bunny house  
bunny pics(small) 2
bunny rabbit out of keyboard keys
bunny reading 2
bunny tatoo  
bunny wabbit 2
cat caught rabbit  
catch bunny cat  
cute cat and rabbit 2
dead baby bunnies  
dead bloody bunnies 2
dead bunnies 4
dead bunny 20
Dead bunnys 3
dead rabbit 5
dead rabbit photo  
dead rabbits 2
dead rabbits backyard  
dead rabbits pictures  
dead+bunnies  
disgusting bunny  
fat bunny rabbit 3
fat rabbit  
Funny baby rabbits  
girl bunny in a garden  
girl holding bunny  
holding a pet bunny  
holding a rabbit 4
holding bunny  
holding rabbit 5
how do you know if a baby rabbit is dead 2
images of baby rabbits  
is my baby rabbit dead  
mall bunny photos 2
people holding rabbits  
rabbit babies  
rabbit beagle 5 <I just want to know if they meant “rabid.”>
rabbit caption  
rabbit cats 2
rabbit claws  
rabbit dead  
rabbit eats dead baby 2
rabbit holding  
rabbit House  
rabbit only 2
rabbit sleeping house  
rabbit small 4
rabbit storys 2
rabbit tatoo 2
really small rabbit  
small baby rabbits 2
small bunny 10
small bunnys that stay small  
small pet bunny rabbits  
small rabbit 9
small rabbit cute  
small rabbits professional photos  
tatoo bunny picture  
the biggest bunny in the world 3
the biggest rabbit 2
the biggest rabbit ever!  
upset baby rabbit  
very small baby bunnies  
why cant my dog smell a rabbit  

Note: All images are of my brain from an MRI. The images are on a cd and are my backup in case I lose my real mind. Do you have a cd of YOUR brain?

I may not post this–I don’t know. But I need to vent, and to who better than to an audience that gets here by googling something like ‘why is my dog stupid’ or ‘ASKED NEIGHBOR ABOUT TREE – GOT MAD’ or ‘how do panties work.’

All of which are real searches people have done to get here, BTW…though admittedly me dissing them like that wasn’t a good way to endear my readership.

In my (unfortunately) vast experience, breakups often happen like this: You know in the back of your mind that something’s wrong but you can’t quite get that thought transfered to the front of your mind.

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Something is happening of course, which you don’t realize until immediately–and I do mean immediately—as the main event begins. Maybe it’s been that the back of your mind hasn’t been yelling loudly enough to the front of your mind or you’re in profound denial. Or both.

I guess it is denial come to think of it. Because usually a breakup is preceeded by this faintly-heard, screaming voice in the back of your mind that’s going “nooooooooooooooo.” You’d think by now I’d have learned to listen to it (and THEN what would I do).

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In fact, the front of your mind even says stuff like “if the Man and I don’t work out I’m going to either move South or move to France.” Or (to a friend) “I think we’re near the end…” Yet there’s still this “dense matter” in your brain that doesn’t allow the back and the front to synch up with each other.

That “dense matter” my friends, is the heart. That stupid heart somehow expands big enough to invade your brainspace and actually block thought, as illustrated in this slightly modified MRI image of my brain:

 

 

Until the main event: he says something along the lines of “It’s not you. It’s me.” Or the trite (yet oft-used) “I don’t know what it is <editorial comment: bull****> is but my heart’s just not in it,” or <Insert another lame-ass excuse here>. Whatever.

He could’ve said it was because you’re a crazy effing beeatch and he’s scared of you, but in the end it doesn’t matter.

All you hear is that “nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo” sound again, followed by an “ohhhhhhhhhhhhh,” followed by a tear that seeps out even though you swear to god you will not let him see you cry.

You hear your heart crumpling up and going ‘not again.’ I can’t do this again. I really like you. Rapidly this turns into I hate you and HowCouldYouDoThisRightBeforeMyPeriodYouAssholeIHopeYouGetA KidneyStoneTheSizeOfToledo. But I’m not at that point right now. I’m still at “noooooooooooooooooooooo.”

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It was late last night. I was feeling something wasn’t right…and a feeling you feel so strong…I knew that there was something wrong…then you gazed up at me and the answer was plain to see, ’cause I saw the light in your eyes.

But we had our fling (echo: we had our fling) I just never would suspect a thing (another echo: suspect a thing), ‘til that little bell began to ring….in my head (echo: in my heaaaaddd)…I tried to run, though I knew it wouldn’t help me none…

Thank you Todd baby (from Something/Anything?). You’ve helped me through many of these effing life experiences…

 

 

(presumably) Real searches people did*:

  • get a dead animal out of the stove
  • old wemon and there dogs

*that got them to my blog—-and I don’t want to know who, how or why. I would suspect Paul of doing this but I think he’s watching football.

Ok, I know I’ve been sick but I really thought it was Christmas time. All evidence points to it: time of year, commercials, decorations, email flurries (“What does Aunt ZooZoo want for Christmas?”), Rudolph on tv, etc.

And yet somewhere it’s Easter.

Here’s a list of the past 4 days of searches that brought (some) people to my site.

This is literally what they typed in and how many views people there were (I don’t really understand that part either).

Intelligence test—see if you can spot the trend

Day 1
baby rabbit 4
Christmas birthday phrases 4
white cheezit 2
rabbit storys 2*
dead bunny 1
dead animal 1
biggest rabbit 1

Day 2
mall bunny photos 2
baby rabbit 2
images of baby rabbits 1
biggest rabbit 1
dead rabbits 1
“work in progress” mkn 1
dead+bunnies 1

Day 3
baby rabbits 4
Hammacher 74584 3
richard tufeld dies 2
hospitalization for rimadyl overdose 1
motion dispensers 1
my dog is so stupid… 1*
small bunnys that stay small 1*
i regret getting my dog 1*
“who are you””i really wanna know” 1
dead baby 1*

Day 4
baby rabbits 3
baby rabbit 2
people holding bunnies 2
i really wanna know who are you who who 1
comment about someone 1
sad bunny 1
fat bunny rabbit 1

baby rabbits    1
Baby Rabbit    1
small images of a rabbit    1

Are you seeing a theme here?! Either somewhere (else) in the world it’s Easter or my sense of time is way off or a lot of kids have an assignment related to rabbits or someone’s messing with me (conspiracy theory).

Also in preceeding days I had dozens of hits on a picture of a baby rabbit (which I ‘borrowed’ from somewhere else), and a lot of those were from Google UK and Google Australia. Something’s going on in those British-y places…

*Kudos/alarms for spelling and/or the entry

Apparently some people are confused because I use initials instead of people’s names.

This is my dilemma: Should readability take precedence over anonymity? Is un-identifiablility more important than identifiablility?

I’ve assumed that most people reading (except some who get to my site via strange, downright weird searches they put into search engines like Google) already know who I’m talking about when I say “J” or “E”, but I now realize that I know all of you, but you may not always know each other.

I want to preserve people’s privacy but want a “relate-able” place where everyone feels like they already know who I’m talking about. I guess I can’t have it both ways.

This being the internet, there are probably 133,000 sites about this topic already, but what the hell, I’ll throw it out there: If I were to mention you here, how would you want to be referrred?

Bidda or B.? The Bid-ster? EDK? My sister related by my ‘being part of the digby family’ sister?

Or do you prefer having a key characteristic assigned to identify you?

For the previously mentioned “Bidda or B.? The Bid-ster? EDK? My sister only related by virtue of my ‘being part of the digby family and hardly ever see but feel close to and love to death, but still am freaked out she’s a grandmother’?” what would your moniker be? (I’d prefer something shorter than the italicized text above…)

Seriously, she brings up something I think a lot about: How do I slice you (or anyone) down to just one characteristic or trait or identifier?! I can’t do that to someone (with the possible exception of the annoying neighbors who probably wouldn’t read this anyway, and if they did they would be sorely p*&^%ed at me for calling them).

Plus, would the “name” I picked totally identify you? Like, say I called you SOMETHING I AM TOTALLY MAKING UP like “my green-haired friend.” Does that “summarize” someone or tell others what they need to know about you? It would make the person easily identifiable (like the green hair wouldn’t?!) but it’s so obvious! And what if I say something negative about your green hair?

Or what if I picked a name for someone but they didn’t even realize it about him/herself? Like “my friend Lorna, who’s got the most annoying voice and that bugs the crap out of me”? Note: I do not know anyone named Lorna.

Such a dilemma. This guy whose blog I love, omarphillips.net, refers to his spouse as (I think) ‘the wife’ and their child as ‘the boy,’ which frankly bugged me at first, but once you “get to know” him (someone I couldn’t pick out of a lineup, whose home city/state are unknown to me, and whose career I don’t know, yet who I feel I know), you realize he’s not doing the clichéd labeling but he”s preserving their privacy while establishing each’s identity that’s not defined by their nicknames.

All right–well, I’m clearly not going to answer this large philosophical question tonight. But as usual, I’ve enjoyed hearing my own tapping on the keyboard and feeling the keys under my fingers.

It’s already 630, 6:45, 7:15, 730, 750. I haven’t had dinner, walked dog, eaten, had dinner, had dinner, started watching my 8 dvds’ worth of backlogged, recorded TV, or made the bed or coffee for tomorrow. Shit. To think I was going to do “nothing” tonight.

—>Cliché alert: Where does the day go? I always run out of time before I run out of things I want to or have to do. Always scrambling and being tired gets tiring…Another topic for another day I guess.

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Seriously, what is up with people?!  Here are the searches from the past couple of days.

I won’t turn this blog into a “who searched for what” kind of thing, but seriously, how do I not mention stuff like this:

-DEAD PEOPLE IN PITS HOW DID THEY GET THE   <—Have YOU ever looked for something like this? Alert: future serial murderer out there somewhere 

-Haiku about music (2 searches, different punctuation)  <—The most often searched item that people get to my blog with. Who’d’ve thunk?

-progress is always bad?

Can you imagine working at Google? They must see even weirder stuff.

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